The Irrational Math of Hate

This week has been tough for me. As someone with ADHD, I feel things deeply and need to manage my emotions when this starts bubbling up as righteous fury. Over the past couple of years, I have been increasingly using the phrase, “What is wrong with people?”, usually followed up with “Humanity, people!” The world is in challenging times, and more than ever, we need to remember each other’s humanity.

I would generally say, “I am not religious. I am spiritual. I have faith, but I am not religious.” Some of my best friends are devoutly religious. Some of my best friends are atheists. I know at least one Catholic and one atheist who are married. Happily married for decades! Religion or no religion, this way of being speaks to our choice of personal compass, how we choose to bring our values to life, and what helps each of us make sense of the external world internally.

It is just one aspect of who we are. In the same way that my language, clothes, job, hairstyle, music, degree of individualism or collectivism, political leaning, hobbies, or the food I eat are all recognizable, defining elements of who I am.

And from the conversations I’ve had this week, trust me, my (lack of) food preferences are quite shocking to the foodies all around me! That’s OK. It’s part of me that doesn’t sit well with many (my poor parents who had to nourish me as a child, included!), but thankfully, I am also multi-dimensional. Those same people can still love me for my tenacity, humour, empathy, or just my colourful clothes.

So what does this have to do with righteous fury or humanity?

Tomorrow is the International Day to Combat Islamophobia. Stop and pause on that. Islamophobia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad5yqfRHMow

Phobia - noun: a fear, horror, strong dislike, or aversion; especially an extreme or irrational fear or dread aroused by a particular object or circumstance.

An irrational fear or dread. Heights, spiders, germs, small spaces, snakes, public speaking.  There are many kinds of phobias that I can somewhat wrap my head around, even if I don’t fully understand them.

There are also plenty of humans that I can say I fear, strongly dislike, or have an aversion to. Individual humans. People whom I know well enough to say that their behaviour or values don’t sit well with me.

However, the idea that I might fear, dislike, or hate an entire global group of humans is completely irrational.

Hate. Yes, I said that word intentionally. I hate spiders. Apologies to all the arachnid lovers out there, but the fact is that most of our fears get boiled down to such visceral sentiments.

I don’t really hate spiders - I even liked the tarantulas I was just pet-sitting. I adore the beauty of a frosty cobweb catching the sun in the middle of winter. I find many spiders fascinating.

I am just irrationally afraid of certain small spiders that suddenly appear in close proximity to me!

There are an estimated 2 billion Muslims in this world—approximately 25% of the world’s population. That’s a LOT of fellow humans to lump into a fearful, base stereotype onto which it is human nature to slide toward hate.

Chances are, you do not actually hate all types of anything. And I am certain that you cannot know even 1% of Muslims. Trust me, that would be 20 million people.

A quick Google just informed me that many humans have around 150 stable personal relationships, and some may know as many as 5,000 people by face or name recognition.

To be clear, that is just one four thousandth (1/4,000) of 20 million.

Even if you know 5,000 people, you would need 4,000 times that number to reach just 1% of the Muslims in the world.

OK, enough with the math! Indulge me, though—today is Pi Day.

Math, through its many forms (arithmetic, statistics, probability, and geometry), not to mention its application to core sciences like physics, has helped humanity make sense of our world. From recipes to weather to our place in the universe, math has provided understanding.

So, as we recognize the International Day to Combat Islamophobia tomorrow, let’s also recognize the irrationality of needing this day. The insanity of the math behind any of us writing off 25% of our fellow humans based on just one aspect of who they are.

Those same humans who, any day of the week, might save a friend’s life, hold a door open for us, share our deep passion for our favourite food, speak up for our rights, or bust a gut laughing at the same joke.

I like to think that at least 1% of humans share my vision of a world where we put humanity first.