Kindness At Work

Through a few conversations recently, it has become clear to me that a lack of humanity isn’t just gradually being normalized in political discourse, short-tempered drivers, or social media trolling, but in the workplace, too. So, as we celebrate National Employee Appreciation Day, I’d like to address a concerning trend — in the hope that shedding light on it encourages those with agency to make change, and reassures those on the receiving end that there are still many of us who believe decency, common courtesy, and respect are perfectly reasonable expectations… even from your boss.

No. Especially from your boss.

Whether you’re living your dream job or gritting your way through every Monday morning, the fact is that many of us spend an enormous part of our waking lives at work — and generally need to in order to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. I know, with all the compounding challenges in our world right now, that last one seems to be especially difficult for many.

All the more reason that when life is on the tougher end of the spectrum, it is incredibly impactful for people to feel seen, heard, and valued in the workplace. If we’re commando-crawling through late bills, sick kids, world news, a family member’s job insecurity, the latest scam attempt — and still showing up — then some appreciation is certainly due.

We live in a productivity-focused world (remember the “To Be, or to ‘Busy Bee’” blog in January?), and while I do believe in all of us contributing to benefit our community and create a better world, all too often our worth silently padlocks itself to our “use.” Yes, work is a transaction: I provide a service, and you pay me for it. In that role as employer or “boss,” you get to inform me how things need to be done and coach me if correction is needed.

But no employee is there to inflate an ego, “take one for the team,” or satisfy passive-aggressive tendencies.

Work? Yes.

Belittling, mocking, or indifference? No.

N-O. NO!

Of course, many (though not all) likely don’t intend to treat others unfairly, but days like today are a great moment to pause, reflect, and ask whether we could be better.

Do we ask someone how their weekend was? Do we remember to ask if their child won their race, or whether their spouse is feeling better? Do we notice their anxiety when they need to get a loved one to an appointment on time and let them leave two minutes early? Or are we so wrapped up in our own drive for productive worth that instead we remind them of the things we’ll need their help with tomorrow as they’re hustling out the door two minutes late?

It doesn’t take much to show humanity, but it can mean the world when it arrives at the moment it’s needed most.

It doesn’t have to be cookies every Friday or pizza once a month. Making someone feel valued can be as simple as saying, “I know you always take the mail, but let me take it today - you sit for five minutes and actually eat your lunch.” And if we can’t take something off their plate, we can still acknowledge that we see it and appreciate it.

If you’re an employer, manager, or team leader, I hope you’re celebrating your employees today and taking a moment to make sure they know how much the everyday things  - the ones we might easily take for granted - are appreciated. More than that, I hope that every day you lead by example with gratitude, show courtesy, extend grace, and remember that we’re all human.

Being a “boss” is a role, not a status symbol.

And if you’re an employee reading this today, I hope you feel seen and valued every day and receive some extra appreciation today.

If not, then let me extend my appreciation to you - for showing up regardless, for gritting through last Monday, this Monday, and next Monday. I appreciate you for taking things on the chin and for being the bigger person.

And I want you to know that unfair treatment is neither reasonable nor acceptable.  It is, however, still sometimes a reality.

I love the analogy of water: often free from the tap, maybe $2 at a store, $4 at a gas station, and $6 at a special event — but it’s still the same thirst-quenching water regardless of the price tag attached to it.

Your boss may have the $6 price tag, but they’re still the same water on the inside.

Maybe you can’t afford to buy yourself a gift today, but you can certainly give yourself a pat on the back — and appreciate your own worth.